lovely life.

I enjoy loving people, pretty things, and beautiful words.

wallowing, oversharing, heartbreak & hope

this will be the typical over-sharing-getting-over-heartbreak tumblr post so fair warning, but I would like to get my thoughts out there.

I’ve been wading in the ever rough waters of heartbreak the last few months, which basically means I’ve been journaling, lamenting my life, and listening to a lot of “Call Me On Your Way Back Home” by Ryan Adams, “I Would Be Sad” and “Find My Love” by the Avett Brothers, along with other tragic songs in the playlist affectionately named “I’m blue (ad dabba dee dabba di).” and the conclusion I have come to? it sucks. straight up sucks. it sucks to miss someone even more the longer you’re without them. it sucks to think about them moving on. it sucks to think about your future without them in it. sucks sucks sucks.

now that I have you with my optimism, where does it get better? honestly, I don’t know how people go through a heartbreak without some kind of faith in something because I have never felt more broken and fragile. my relationship with God has been the only thing to help me think that it will get better. there is a purpose for this. and then I stumbled upon this gem today:

don’t be wishing you were someplace else or with someone else. where you are right now is God’s place for you. live and obey and love and believe right there. God, not your marital status, defines your life.

1 corinthians 7.17

live and obey and love and believe right there. right where I am. I’ll be the first to admit I’ve wallowed in my sadness because really, I don’t know how to tackle this thing. I don’t know how to get over someone like this. but that’s okay. I’m where I’m supposed to be. and in some weird way, that makes me feel okay. that gives me peace. I’m not trying to “sell this” to anyone, and I’m not claiming to not be sad about this still. I stick to my statement that it truly sucks. it sucks bad. but I felt like if I shared my peace and hope for my future, it’ll help remind me when I am wallowing.

“your heart says not again; what kind of a mess have you got me in? but when the feelings there, it can lift you up and take you anywhere.” - Avett Brothers. Living of Love.

  1. laurengrizzard posted this